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No scammers, no players, no married men, no “nurse or purse.” No drama. Must be honest.

Do you sense a trend going on here?

These are some of the most common terms one finds in a woman’s dating profile — not necessarily every single one, but the Male Call Advisory Board™, after an extensive algorithmic semi-scientific review of more than a hundred profiles, has determined that these terms show up in about 90 percent of the write-ups.

We examined four different sites for our study: Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish and OKCupid.

These were selected on the scientific basis that they’re free to join (though some ladies point out that they’re not paid members of the free sites — presumably they’ve just copied their profiles over from Match or Farmers Only).

Although our Board didn’t apply our super-sensitive algorithms (disclosure: we have no idea what that even means) to which sites were more “shade-heavy,” it appears that the scamology runs roughly in the order given above. That is, nearly every Tinder profile (for those who bother to write anything) offers a warning about no married men, no one-night stands and especially language like, “If you are a scammer, please swipe left.”

(We can just picture all the phony oil rig workers and international doctors saying to themselves, “Dang, I better not mess with her…she’s on to me!”)

Now, as it happens, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) which actually does study such things says that three of the top romance scam occupations are:

  • working on an oil rig
  • in the military
  • a doctor with an international organization

…and the theme common to all is <drum roll>: asking for money.


From stories we have actually heard first-hand (as well as what the FTC says), the M.O. would be: profess love quickly, claim to be overseas and lure you off the dating site. But of course, nowadays, they’re certainly not going to lure you to a dive bar so it’s probably easier for the guys to keep you on the hook by acting like they can’t meet you in a nice public place for coffee.

Still, it’s hard to know whether out-and-out scammers are more or less prevalent than married guys looking for an affair, or men just looking for an overnighter.

But clearly, it’s about “honesty”…something desperately lacking in women’s dating lives…such as they are in this COVID world.

Now, as to what irks men, the Board made some inquiries from the ladies and it turns out to be a lot simpler: Men complain about women not looking like their photos.

So, ladies, feel free to send a comment about the top complaints you see on men’s profiles.

Oh, and go ahead and scam us — as long as you look like you say you do.

Need a guy’s perspective? Jot a note to Male Call at For more words, ideas and whimsy, visit

Written By

A significantly over 40-something Phoenix-based writer, author of On Being Eight Again and The Tao of Coyote. Divorced with no children, he has been exploring the dating scene and collecting tales of woe for many years.


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